Episode 6: Medical Gaslighting

In this episode, Greg, Rich, and guest host Jay explore medical gaslighting - when healthcare providers dismiss, minimize, or invalidate legitimate medical concerns. They discuss how time pressures, insurance constraints, and systemic biases contribute to the problem, and share practical strategies to advocate for yourself in medical settings. 

Jay recounts a personal experience with cyclical vomiting syndrome and hospital care, Rich reflects on navigating traumatic brain injury (TBI) and the importance of self-advocacy, and Greg highlights his current struggle with chronic fatigue and the need for timely follow-ups. 

The conversation also examines the potential role of AI in diagnostics, the emotional toll of feeling unheard, and disparities affecting minority groups - particularly Black women in maternal care.

Key Quotes and Noteworthy Observations:

Greg:

“Some of the common things that a provider might say… ‘It’s probably just stress,’ ‘You’re a bit young to have that problem,’ ‘You might just need to lose weight.’”
“I’m chronically fatigued… I can’t live like this. It’s not working for me.”
Observation: Greg underscores how dismissive language erodes trust and delays proper care, and he highlights a powerful statistic about maternal health disparities affecting Black women. He also emphasizes post-appointment actions like seeking second opinions, filing complaints when necessary, and connecting with patient advocacy groups.

Rich:

“You get so little time with the doctor… They don’t listen, they interrupt you, they diminish your symptoms before you’ve had an opportunity to really explain.”
“I had to continually advocate for myself… Bringing somebody else along helps. Bringing a journal helped.”
Observation: Rich connects medical gaslighting to insurance-driven time and testing constraints, noting providers often feel stuck between patients and insurers. He offers practical, concise communication strategies to make every minute count.

Jay:

“I have something called cyclical vomiting syndrome… It took a long time for them to diagnose it. They immediately went with assumptions because I was young.”
“One of the best things I ever did… was to ask for a pain specialist… He understood I had a high tolerance and that he would take care of it.”
Observation: Jay’s story shows how persistence and specific requests (like involving a pain specialist) can change the trajectory of care. He also points out the insurance cliff at age 26 and the value of bringing a trusted advocate—even a parent—to appointments.

Main Points:

What is medical gaslighting: A form of psychological manipulation where providers dismiss or minimize patients’ symptoms, leading to self-doubt, anxiety, and delayed care.

Systemic factors:



Insurance constraints limit visit length and tests, pressuring physicians and rushing appointments.
Profit motives can conflict with patient outcomes.
Bias disproportionately affects minority groups; Black women face significantly higher risks in maternal care.

Lived experiences:



Jay faced misdiagnoses and delayed imaging that revealed hernias; advocating for a pain specialist made a difference.
Rich navigated TBI care with initial dismissal, improving outcomes through persistence, journaling, and bringing a supporter.
Greg is dealing with chronic fatigue and administrative hurdles delaying care.

AI in medicine:



Potential benefits: faster pattern recognition, improved consistency in imaging and diagnostic support.
Risks: overreliance, possible misdiagnoses, lack of emotional context; must complement—not replace—human clinical judgment.

Emotional impact:



Being dismissed can feel like questioning your sanity; self-care and support networks matter.

Advocacy strategies:



Prepare: Write down symptoms, timelines, and questions before appointments.
Communicate clearly: Use specific, concise language; ask direct questions like “What else could be causing this?”
Bring support: A trusted person can observe, remember, and speak up.
Document: Keep a symptom journal and track tests, results, and dates.
Request appropriate specialists when needed (e.g., pain management, neurology).
Seek second opinions if you feel dismissed.
Use patient portals thoughtfully; follow up if results are delayed.
Consider patient advocacy groups; file complaints when care is inadequate.
Balance continuity and change: Stick with good providers; don’t stay too long with dismissive ones.

Top Takeaways:

You are your best advocate: Preparation, documentation, and persistence can counter rushed visits and dismissal.

Don’t go it alone: Bring someone who can observe and help communicate.

Ask for the right expertise: Request specialists when pain or complex symptoms aren’t being addressed.

Bias is real: Minority groups, women—especially Black women in maternal care—face heightened risk; be proactive and seek supportive providers.

AI is a tool, not a solution: It may improve diagnostics, but it can’t replace human listening and care.

Practical Checklist for Your Next Appointment:

Before:



Write a concise symptom timeline (onset, frequency, triggers, impact).
List top 3 questions and what outcomes you want (tests, referrals, next steps).
Gather prior records and test results.

During:



Lead with your main concern and functional impact.
Ask: “What else could this be?” and “What is the plan if this first approach doesn’t work?”
If pain is undertreated, request a pain specialist consult.

After:



Review visit notes and lab results promptly via the patient portal.
Follow up if results are delayed or unclear.
Seek a second opinion if dismissed; consider patient advocacy support.

Resources and Contact:

Share your story: Have you experienced medical gaslighting? What was the outcome?
Email: Info@kindnessrx.org
Website: kindnessrx.org
Topic suggestions welcome.

Credits:

Hosts: Greg and Rich
Guest Host: Jay

Closing

Join us next week for another conversation focused on practical support, compassion, and building a kinder world.