Episode: Dr. Christopher Choukalas Interview Episode 725
Pub date: 2026-09-15
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There is a version of fatherhood we rarely talk about.
We talk about the sleepless nights, the diapers, the exhaustion, and the joy. We talk about the transformation that comes with becoming a parent. But what happens when a father isn't feeling joy at all? What happens when the person everyone expects to be strong, capable, and in control is quietly falling apart?
My guest today knows that experience from both sides—as a physician who understands medicine and as a father who discovered that medical knowledge doesn't necessarily protect you from your own suffering.
Dr. Christopher G. Choukalas is an anesthesiologist and intensive care physician and the author of Even the Darkest Night, a deeply personal memoir about paternal depression, fatherhood, marriage, trauma, and recovery.
After the traumatic birth of his twin daughters nearly claimed his wife's life, Christopher found himself spiraling. He withdrew from his family, spent long evenings alone in his garage, struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and sleeplessness, and couldn't understand why he wasn't experiencing the happiness he believed he was supposed to feel.
The turning point came when his wife confronted him and urged him to seek help. Through therapy, medication, the support of other fathers, and a painful examination of his own childhood, Christopher began the long process of finding his way back to his family—and to himself.
Today we're going to talk about paternal depression, the pressures men place on themselves, why even doctors can miss the warning signs, and what it takes to ask for help when you're accustomed to being the person everyone else depends on.
This is Dr. Christopher G. Choukalas, and his memoir is Even the Darkest Night.
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