The One You Feed

Buddhism Self-Improvement Mental Health English

Transformative ideas from the best thinkers on the planet including guests like James Clear, Susan Cain, Michael Pollan, Deepak Chopra, Nicole LaPera, Yung Pueblo, Gabor Mate, Maggie Smith, , David Whyte, Macklemore, George Saunders, Anne Lamott, Frank Turner, Mark Manson, Tara Brach, AJ Jacobs, Oliver Burkeman, Ryan Holiday, Parker Palmer. It’s not about perfection; it’s about direction.

Website

04 March 2025

The Happiness Formula: Using Your Body to Transform Your Mind with Janice Kaplan

In this episode, Janice Kaplan explores the happiness formula and how to use your body to transform your mind. She discusses the powerful connection between our bodies and our minds. Drawing from her latest book, What Your Body Knows About Happiness, Janice shares groundbreaking research on how our physical state directly influences our emotions, thoughts, and overall well-being. You'll discover how simple bodily changes—like posture, movement, and even temperature—can dramatically impact our happiness.

Key Takeaways:

How your body sends signals to your brain that shape your emotions Why small physical changes (like sitting up straight or smiling) can boost your mood The surprising ways environment and sensory input influence perception and behavior How chronic pain can be “rewired” in the brain and why movement is key to relief The underestimated power of touch and human connection in emotional well-being Why new experiences—no matter how small—can dramatically improve happiness

For full show notes, click here!

If you enjoyed this episode with Janice Kaplan, check out these other episodes:

Ruth Whippman on the Complexity of Happiness

How to Unleash the Power of Happiness and Success with Emma Seppala

Hope for Healing Chronic Pain with Yoni Ashar

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

28 February 2025

The #1 Mindset Shift to Stop Overthinking and Start Living with Nikki Eisenhauer

In this episode, Nikki Eisenhauer shares the #1 mindset shift to stop overthinking and start living. She explores the profound role of insight, emotional maturity, and personal responsibility in personal growth. With her extensive wisdom gleaned from her 17+ years of experience working with highly sensitive individuals, she dives into why some people change while others remain stuck, how overthinking can become a trap, and the importance of balancing self-compassion with accountability.

Key Takeaways:

00:00 Insight is the Key to Change 04:37 Maturity Matters More Than We Think 08:37 Your Feelings Don’t Have to Drive the Bus 14:09 Overthinking is a Coping Mechanism 33:40 Stillness is a Superpower in a Distracted World 45:41 Personal Responsibility is Empowering, Not Harsh

If you enjoyed this episode with Nikki Eisenhauer, check out these other episodes:

How to Harness the Chatter in Your Head with Ethan Kross

Overthinking and Internal Soundtracks with Jon Acuff

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

25 February 2025

The Secret to Learning & Problem-Solving in Life with Ben Orlin

In this episode, math teacher and author Ben Orlin explores the secret to learning and problem-solving in life. He explains why struggling through challenges (in math and life) can actually be a good thing. Ben also discusses the unexpected power of humor and how we can rethink our approach to learning and change.

Key Takeaways:

05:16 – Struggle is a Sign of Learning, Not Failure 13:27 – Why We Fear Math (And How to Overcome It) 25:06 – The Role of Humor and Play in Learning 27:36 – The Paradox of Change and the Infinite Steps of Progress 22:03 – Why We Need to Step Away to Solve Problems 50:27 – The Link Between Happiness and Expectations

If you enjoyed this episode with Ben Orlin, check out these other episodes:

How to Find Real Life in Stories with George Saunders

Improvising in Life with Stephen Nachmanovitch

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

21 February 2025

The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism: Why You Never Feel Good Enough with Ellen Hendriksen

In this episode, Ellen Hendriksen discusses the hidden costs of perfectionism and why you never feel good enough. She shares the various ways perfectionism disguises itself as a positive trait—when in reality, it can lead to self-criticism, procrastination, and emotional exhaustion. Ellen also explains why perfectionism is less about being perfect and more about never feeling good enough, how self-acceptance is the antidote, and why procrastination is actually an emotional regulation problem (not a time management issue).

Key Takeaways:

(01:02)

(03:26)

(07:36)

(16:57)

(26:51)

(39:40)

Emotional Perfectionism: The toxic belief that you “shouldn’t” feel a certain way

(43:59)

Why procrastination is actually about emotion management—not time management

(50:46)

How to release past mistakes and stop ruminating over failures

For full show notes, click here!

If you enjoyed this episode with Ellen Hendriksen, check out these other episodes:

How to Overcome Perfectionism and Create Your Best Work with David Kadavy

How to Manage Social Anxiety and The Inner Critic with Ellen Hendriksen

Being a Procrastinator with Tim Pychyl

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

18 February 2025

The Truth About 12-Step Programs: What No One Tells You with Arlina Allen

In this episode, Arlina Allen explores the truth about 12-step programs and dives deep into the common misconceptions, barriers, and unexpected benefits. Arlina shares her personal journey from resistance to transformation, highlighting how reframing common challenges—like the language of “character defects” and the concept of powerlessness—can make the 12 steps a powerful tool for healing.

Key Takeaways:

[01:06] – Why 12-Step Programs Are So Misunderstood

[05:00] – Reframing the Good Wolf vs. Bad Wolf Parable

[07:22] – The Problem with “Character Defects”

[15:46] – The Illusion of Moderation: Can You Control Your Drinking?

[25:14] – Why 12-Step Programs Get a Bad Reputation

[28:46] – Rethinking the Role of God in Recovery

[37:35] – Why Words Like “Alcoholic” Can Be Both Useful & Limiting

[46:31] – The 12 Steps as a Structured Path to Change

[50:49] – The 4th Step: Why Looking at Ourselves is So Hard

[54:28] – Is AA a Cult? Debunking the Myth

For full show notes, click here!

How to Recover the Person You Were Meant to Be with Paul Churchill

A Journey to Sobriety with Laura Cathcart Robbins

How to Embrace Sobriety with Gillian Tietz

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

14 February 2025

The Hidden Relationship Trap: How Negative Narratives Sabotage Love with Jillian Turecki

In this episode, Jillian Turecki delves into relationships, the hidden relationship trap, and how negative narratives sabotage love. Jillian emphasizes the internal battle we face between positive and negative thoughts, likening our minds to battlefields. She highlights the importance of not believing every thought that crosses our minds and instead tuning into our hearts and instincts for a more fulfilling life.

Key Takeaways:

[00:05:20] Relationship dynamics and interpretations. [00:12:17] Relationship resistance and patterns. [00:15:14] Responsibility in toxic relationships. [00:18:04] Taking responsibility for love life. [00:22:14] Relationship patterns and personal growth. [00:29:01] Accountability in relationships. [00:30:27] Truth as medicine in relationships. [00:39:08] Making peace with unhealthy habits. [00:44:26] Relationship accountability and needs. [00:50:22] Importance of genuine appreciation. [00:52:56] Relationship positivity ratio. [00:57:12] Emotional patterns in relationships. [01:04:38] Fear driving relationship behaviors. [01:05:58] Effective communication strategies. [01:10:56] Positive intent in relationships. [01:16:36] Healing from heartbreak.

For full show notes, click here!

If you enjoyed this conversation, check out these other episodes:

How to Make Great Relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson

Dr. Sue Johnson on Navigating Romantic Relationships

Cindy Stulberg on Relationships

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 February 2025

Languishing vs. Flourishing: How to Feel Alive Again with Corey Keyes

In this episode, Corey Keyes explores the concept of languishing vs. flourishing and how to feel alive again He delves into the often-overlooked emotional state that exists between mental illness and thriving and discusses how many of us can feel worn down by life and stuck in a gray zone of stagnation. Corey shares his insights on the importance of mindset and how changing the way we think about our daily tasks can lead us to a more fulfilling life. The discussion touches on the critical aspects of purpose, connection, and vitality, offering listeners strategies to move from languishing to flourishing.

Key Takeaways:

00:05:29 – The Role of Positive Psychology and Mental Health 00:06:46 – Corey’s Background and the Successful Aging Research Network 00:08:08 – The Purpose of Positive Psychology and Addressing Languishing 00:09:25 – Flourishing Despite Mental Health Conditions 00:10:08 – The Relationship Between Flourishing and Mental Illness 00:12:49 – The Challenge of Defining Recovery in Addiction and Mental Health 00:14:02 – The Lack of Peer Support Groups for Depression 00:15:05 – The Role of Experts in Mental Health 00:16:15 – The Difference Between Sharing with Experts and Peer Support 00:17:07 – The Importance of Having a Clear Program in Support Groups 00:18:04 – The Need for a New Approach to Mental Health Support Programs 00:19:01 – Defining Languishing and Its Distinction from Depression 00:20:36 – The Overlap Between Languishing and Depression 00:22:29 – The Impact of Languishing on Mental Health 00:23:39 – Personal Reflections on Eliminating Suffering and Seeking Joy 00:25:04 – The Challenge of Recalibrating After Addiction 00:25:58 – The Importance of Functioning Well 00:28:05 – The Nuances of Feeling Good vs. Functioning Well 00:30:09 – The Difference Between Satisfaction and Momentary Feelings 00:31:04 – The Role of Storytelling in Perceived Well-Being 00:32:49 – The Importance of Meaning and Values Over Mood 00:33:59 – Allowing Self-Assessment in Measuring Well-Being 00:35:53 – The Criteria for Flourishing and Languishing 00:37:08 – Encouraging Reflection and Integration for Listeners 00:38:18 – The Importance of Functioning Well in Achieving Flourishing 00:40:28 – The Difficulty of Achieving Social Well-Being 00:41:10 – The Five Vitamins of Flourishing 00:42:01 – Integrating Flourishing Activities into Daily Life 00:45:05 – The Importance of Mindset in Achieving Flourishing 00:47:09 – Research on Mindsets and Practical Applications

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

07 February 2025

How to Shift Your Emotions: Moving from Chaos to Clarity with Ethan Kross

In this episode, Dr. Ethan Kross discusses how to shift your emotions and move from chaos to clarity. Ethan delves into the complexities of emotions, challenging traditional views that label them as obstacles to overcome. Instead, he presents a fresh perspective, suggesting that emotions can be valuable tools when understood and managed effectively. This conversation explores how our thoughts often skew towards negativity and how conscious effort is required to cultivate a fulfilling life.

Key Takeaways:

00:02:30 – Introduction to Dr. Ethan Kross and His Work 00:03:30 – The Parable of the Two Wolves 00:05:22 – Emotions as Valuable Companions 00:06:07 – The Complexity of Emotions 00:07:51 – No One-Size-Fits-All Solutions 00:10:21 – The Metaphor of Physical Fitness 00:12:25 – Variability in Emotional Tools 00:13:34 – The Complexity of Human Emotions 00:16:35 – The Control of Emotions 00:18:43 – The Serenity Prayer and Emotional Control 00:27:00 – The Role of Self-Experimentation 00:30:34 – Tools for Shifting Emotions 00:31:00 – Attention as a Tool 00:34:28 – The Role of Avoidance and Approach 00:38:12 – Perspective Shifting 00:44:11 – Shifting Your Environment 00:48:07 – Using Environmental Cues for Emotional Regulation

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

04 February 2025

How to Break the People-Pleasing Cycle and Set Healthy Boundaries with Terri Cole

In this episode, Terri Cole discusses how to break the people-pleasing cycle and set healthy boundaries. She explores the fine line between kindness and people- pleasing and how sometimes, what feels like generosity might actually be an attempt to control someone else’s reaction or avoid conflict altogether. Terri also explains why so many of us fall into this “peace at any cost” mentality and the toll it takes on us. She offers powerful tools to help us break free from that compulsion and get clear on what we’re really responsible for, and how to show up authentically in our relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Tending to the Shadow Side

Finding Balance: Reacting vs. Responding

The Resentment Inventory

Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings

Understanding Activation and Transference

The Impact of Past Relationships

Defining High Functioning Codependency

Characteristics of High Functioning Codependents

The Importance of Mindful Habit Changes

Distinguishing Kindness from Codependency

Questions to Differentiate Responsibility

The Role of Boundaries in Relationships

The Challenge of Letting Go

The Power of Asking the Right Questions

Conclusion: The Balance of Giving and Receiving

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

31 January 2025

Unlocking Everyday Awesome: How to Find Joy in the Ordinary with Neil Pasricha

In this episode, Neil Pasricha explores the idea of unlocking every day awesome and how to find joy in the ordinary. Neil delves into the challenges of living in a mindset focused on problem-solving and the importance of recognizing the small joys in life. Neil emphasizes how appreciating simple pleasures—such as the sound of birds, the taste of coffee, or the feel of warm laundry—can help us break free from the cycle of constant task management. He shares practical tools for reclaiming our attention from distractions and encourages listeners to find happiness in the present moment.

Key Takeaways:

Understanding the importance of self-care in a world filled with distractions Being mindfully aware and finding small joys to learn to appreciate the present moment Engaging in gratitude practices, like writing down specific moments of appreciation, to enhance well-being Embracing the role of new experiences to foster personal growth and learning Learning to shift focus from what we lack to what we have to shift perspective and cultivate a mindset of appreciation

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.