Jennifer Leister | Counseling in Divorce: Giving Children a Voice Without Putting Them in the Middle

Episode Summary

Melinda Eitzen sits down with mental health professional Jennifer Leister to discuss the critical role of a child specialist in collaborative divorce and how counseling-focused approaches can help families make more informed, child-centered decisions.

In this episode, they explore how child specialists gather insight directly from children, not to make decisions, but to help parents better understand their needs, concerns, and perspectives. From everyday worries like schedules and belongings to deeper concerns about family dynamics, the conversation highlights how early, thoughtful intervention can reduce stress, improve communication, and support healthier outcomes for the entire family.

About the Guest

Jennifer Leister is a Dallas-based mental health professional who works extensively in collaborative divorce as a child specialist and neutral mental health professional. Her practice focuses on supporting children, teens, and families navigating divorce, high-conflict dynamics, and major life transitions.

Jennifer specializes in forensic interviewing, parent coordination, reunification work, and counseling for children and families. She is known for her child-centered approach, helping parents better understand their children’s perspectives while maintaining a neutral, structured process that supports healthier decision-making.

To contact Jennifer, please visit:
www.jennifercounseling.com
www.meetmaxbooks.com

Key Takeaways About Counseling, Child Specialists & Divorce

● The Child Specialist Role Is Child-Focused: Child specialists gather information directly from children to help parents make informed decisions, without putting kids in the position of choosing sides.

● Counseling Principles Guide the Process: While not therapy, the role uses counseling-informed techniques to reduce anxiety, answer questions, and support children through change.

● Children Worry About Different Things Than Adults: Kids often focus on practical, everyday concerns like pets, schedules, and belongings, things that parents may overlook.

● It’s Not About Asking Kids Where They Want to Live: Ethical child specialists never ask children to choose between parents but instead explore feelings, preferences, and concerns.

● Short-Term Involvement, Long-Term Impact: The role is typically brief but provides valuable insight that can prevent future conflict and misunderstandings.

● Neutrality Protects the Process: Child specialists act as neutral professionals, bringing unbiased information back to the parents and the collaborative team.

● Early Intervention Reduces Stress: Providing children with age-appropriate information and a safe space to ask questions can significantly ease anxiety during divorce.

● Team Collaboration Improves Outcomes: Working alongside attorneys and mental health professionals ensures information is accurately communicated and efficiently used.

● Counseling Support Extends Beyond Divorce: The skills and insights gained through this process often help families communicate better long after the case is resolved.

Notable Quotes

“Children shouldn’t be put in the position of choosing, they should be given a voice, not a decision.”

“Kids worry about kid things—not always the things adults expect.”

“You are choosing divorce—the divorce is happening to your children.”

“Even healthy families can benefit from understanding what their kids are really thinking.”

“Sometimes just answering a child’s questions can relieve most of their stress.”