What if one of the most powerful things you can do for your child's attachment, nervous system regulation, and resilience starts not at the dinner table or the sleep routine but at the diaper?
This week I sat down with Andrea Olson, founder of Go Diaper Free, author, podcaster, and one of the world's leading experts on elimination communication. Andrea has helped hundreds of thousands of families rethink one of the earliest parts of parenting by showing that babies are capable of communicating their toileting needs from birth.
But this conversation is about so much more than diapering. It is about trusting our babies. Understanding their biology. Building secure attachment from the very beginning. And recognizing how modern conveniences, as helpful as they are, have quietly disrupted the deep attunement between parents and children that humans have always had.
We talked about what elimination communication actually is and why it is not potty training. We talked about how disposable diapers disrupted the parent child connection and why that matters for attachment. We talked about resilience, boundaries, presence, and what it actually means to raise a child who can handle hard things. And we talked about how all of this connects to feeding, picky eating, and the themes we come back to on this show again and again.
This one is warm, honest, and deeply grounding. I think you are going to love it.
What You'll Learn in This Episode
- What elimination communication actually is and why it is not potty trainingWhy a third to half of all baby cries are actually communication about needing to go to the bathroomHow to read your baby's cues for elimination from birth and what the easiest starting points areWhy 92 percent of American toddlers were fully potty trained by 18 months in 1957 and what changedHow disposable diapers disrupted the deep attunement and connection between parents and childrenWhy elimination communication is flexible and works even part time alongside diapersHow EC connects to secure attachment and why attunement causes securityWhy potty training between 12 and 18 months is developmentally appropriate and actually reduces tantrumsWhy Andrea recommends being present with your baby instead of escaping into scrollingHow connection is the foundation of resilience and what that means for how we parentWhy failure is not something to protect our children from but something essential for their developmentThe one piece of advice Andrea would give every parent who wants to raise healthier more resilient kids
The Picky Eating Connection
This episode takes the themes I talk about every week and applies them to an area most parents never think about in this way.
Connection. Attunement. Cue reading. Responding to your child's biology instead of trying to control or override it.
These are the exact same principles that underlie everything I teach about picky eating in the BLOOM Framework. And hearing Andrea articulate them through the lens of elimination communication was one of those moments where I thought yes, this is exactly it.
Key Takeaways
1. Elimination communication is not potty training.
It is responding to your baby's natural elimination cues the same way you respond to their hunger cues. It is something parents have done for all of human history. It is flexible, part time friendly, and does not require giving up diapers completely.
2. A third to half of all baby cries are about needing to go to the bathroom.
Most parents have no idea. When we learn to read this cue, fussiness often resolves dramatically and connection deepens in ways that ripple through every part of parenting.
3. Attunement causes secure attachment.
When we accurately respond to our baby's needs, whether that is hunger, sleep, or elimination, we build a foundation of trust and security that shapes everything that comes after. Including how they eat, how they sleep, how they regulate, and how resilient they become.
4. Diapers disrupted the parent child connection.
Not because they are evil but because they were marketed as a replacement for part of parental attunement. We were taught to ignore our instincts and our babies' signals. And that interruption in connection has had consequences we are still working through.
5. Potty training between 12 and 18 months is developmentally appropriate.
It is not harmful. It is not too early. It actually normalizes behavior and reduces tantrums because children at this age developmentally want to take care of themselves. The science saying otherwise was manufactured.
6. Connection is the foundation of resilience.
Not protection from failure. Not a perfectly scheduled day. Not the right supplements or the right strategies. Connection. Being present. Seeing your child with fresh eyes. Responding to who they actually are. That is what builds a resilient child.
Resources Mentioned
Andrea Olson:
Website: godiaperfree.com
Potties and undies: tinyundies.com
Instagram: @godiaperfree
TikTok: @godiaperfree
YouTube: Go Diaper Free
Facebook: Go Diaper Free
Podcast: Go Diaper Free
Books Referenced:
Go Diaper Free by Andrea Olson
Andrea's potty training book (18 to 20 months method)
The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff
If this episode resonated and you are thinking about what is really driving your child's feeding challenges, picky eating, or struggles at the table, connection and attunement are always the place to start.
Book a free Clarity Call with me. We will look at your child's whole picture and figure out your next best step together.
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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making significant dietary changes.