Why Fixing Someone You Love Is Destroying Your Nervous System

➡️ Get the full episode breakdown at Biology of Trauma® Podcast — Episode 162: Why Fixing Someone You Love Is Destroying Your Nervous System

When someone you love is struggling with addiction, your nervous system absorbs what theirs numbs out. Relational trauma repair therapist Karen Moser joins Dr. Aimie Apigian to explain why the families of substance users often carry deeper nervous system dysregulation than the users themselves. This episode reveals the biological cost of trying to control another person's healing and what it takes to reclaim the parts of yourself that got lost along the way.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

(00:00) Why helping someone you love may be destroying your nervous system
(02:00) What Relational Trauma Repair (RTR) is and how it works with the body
(06:30) How Karen Moser brought Relational Trauma Repair (RTR) into addiction treatment and family work
(08:00) Why the family's nervous system is often more dysregulated than the user's
(11:00) Why sobriety alone does not resolve the family's nervous system patterns
(15:00) Where relational trauma repair starts with families and self-relationship
(19:00) How floor checks help name and locate emotions in the body
(22:30) Why anger, shame, and even joy are emotions people learn to avoid
(28:00) How childhood survival roles create adult role fatigue and burnout
(38:00) A practical exercise to reconnect with the alive, strong parts of yourself

Resources/Guides:

The Biology of Trauma book — Get your copy here
Songs of the Inner World — Dr. Aimie’s YouTube channel for real, raw, honest words for your inner world.
Nervous System Journal — Download at biologyoftrauma.com/book. Track how often you are in a survival state.

Related Podcast Episodes:

Episode 136: How Chaos of Early Childhood Trauma Affects Our Adult Nervous System with Dr. Tian Dayton
Episode 158: Marijuana, Addiction, and the Body: What We’ve Been Getting Wrong with Kevin Sabet