Sexy Marriage Radio

Part two of two. Last week was You Can’t Fix What You Can’t See, and the homework was to write down your markers. What your sinking looks like, feels like, sounds like, tastes like, smells like.You sent them. Somebody picks up pine cones in the front yard. Somebody else knows they’re regressed when their teeth start hurting. Another one goes quiet, hides in YouTube, and loses interest in family...

You’re outside on a nice afternoon. Nothing’s wrong. Your phone buzzes, you look down, and you see the name. You haven’t answered. Nobody’s said a word. And everything in you already dropped.That’s where this episode starts, and it’s part one of two.A listener wrote in after the silent treatment episode with a fair question. He understood the pursuer and distancer pattern. He understood the idea...

He loves his wife. He’s attracted to her. They have sex about once a week and he’s grateful for it. She says she enjoys their time together.And something is still missing.She prefers to be made love to — to receive, to respond, to be the object of his attention and desire. He’s the one who initiates, who directs, who carries the encounter. She’s present and warm and willing. And he finds himself...

“How does that make you feel?”Four words. The most famous question in all of therapy. Not wrong exactly. Just incomplete. Because nobody ever asks the follow-up: what are you going to do with that?We live in the golden age of emotional intelligence. More language for our feelings than any generation in history. And marriages are not noticeably better. At some point it’s worth asking whether the...

She's been married eleven years. Three kids. A life she genuinely loves.And a husband who goes quiet every time they disagree. Not angry quiet. Just... gone. Still in the house, still doing the normal things, but there's a wall — and she never knows when it's coming down or what she did to put it up.She's tried everything. She asks what's wrong. She gives him space. She apologizes — sometimes...

Episode 800.Over fifteen years and eight hundred episodes, one of the consistent choices on this show has been to stay away from clinical diagnostic language — words like coercion, narcissism, gaslighting, abuse — even when those words might technically fit a situation being described.That choice has generated some pushback lately. And it deserves a direct answer.Not a defensive one. A real...

A listener wrote in after last week's episode. He appreciated it but wanted the other side of the equation.His situation: he wants to do something with his wife that he considers well within the moral framework of their marriage. She says no. Complete sentence.So what's he supposed to do? Stop wanting it? White-knuckle his way through? Watch it fester into resentment?Those feel like the only two...

She's been married sixteen years. Four kids. A husband who works hard, fathers well, and helps around the house more than most.She also has sex with him three to four times a week. Does oral sex. Anal play. Vibrators. Mutual masturbation. Sexting. She tried anal sex three times before deciding the pain wasn't worth it. She tried swallowing despite a genuine gag reflex. She stopped sending...

A husband wrote in after our episode with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. He appreciated it but wanted more on the man's side.His wife feels connected to him through sex. But 95% of the time she's not aroused. She has a good attitude about it. She participates. And then when he gets in the shower, she goes and uses a vibrator by herself — because she feels pressured by him to enjoy it when he's...

If you've ever wondered why desire felt so natural before marriage and so complicated after — this conversation is worth your time.Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a psychologist, coach, and fellow traveler in the Schnarch world. In this conversation with Corey, she names something most couples can't quite articulate: the shift from falling in love to being married isn't a sign something went...