Ep. 11 Reframe This... Kindness is a Choice: We Don't Have to Feel Kind to Be Kind

In this holiday-focused episode of Reframe This Podcast, Matt dives deep into how we can practice kindness, love, and grace during the holiday season—even when our emotions don’t align with the expectations around us. The holidays often bring a complicated mix of joy, stress, exhaustion, and family dynamics. Matt reflects on how we can choose kindness, love, and grace intentionally, even when those feelings don’t come naturally.

Matt challenges the common misconception that kindness requires us to “feel” a certain way first. Instead, he reframes these values as actions we can choose, regardless of how we feel. From navigating stressful family gatherings to managing holiday shopping crowds and the pressure to be perfect, Matt shares practical strategies for maintaining grounded, intentional connections during a busy and emotionally charged time.

💡 Reframe of the Week
“Kindness isn’t a feeling you wait for—it’s a value you choose to live from. Love isn’t proven by how warm you feel, but by how intentionally you act. Grace doesn’t excuse harm, but it gives space for compassion in the middle of a difficult moment.”

🕊️ Spiritual Reflection
Matt closes with some grounding reflections from Scripture that support the idea of practicing kindness, love, and grace when emotions are complicated, especially during the holiday season:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 — Love is described not as a feeling, but through verbs: patience, kindness, restraint, and humility. It is a choice, not an emotion.Colossians 3:12-14 — “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. And over all these virtues, put on love.” Just as we intentionally choose our clothes every day, we must also intentionally choose these virtues.

These reflections encourage us to ground ourselves in values, especially during a season that can feel emotionally complex.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* — The concept of emotions as “signposts, not commandments.”Psychology Today’s Therapist Directory — Find a licensed therapist near you to help with navigating holiday stress and emotional well-being.

Resources for Support:
If you're struggling with mental health or emotional overwhelm during the holidays, speaking with a licensed therapist can provide much-needed support. You can find a therapist near you through Psychology Today's Therapist Directory.

For listeners in Arizona:
Matt’s counseling practice, Dynamis Counseling, offers therapy services for individuals, couples, and families. Arizona residents can reach out to Dynamis Counseling to get matched with a therapist who fits their needs. Visit Dynamis Counseling for more information.

Subscribe & Share:
If today’s episode encouraged you, share it with someone who might need a little extra kindness, love, or grace this holiday season. And don’t forget to leave us a review! Reviews help others find this podcast and join the conversation.

Contact Us:
Have a topic you’d like us to reframe? Email us at info@reframethis.org.