Omnibus

In which television stations spend decades signing off every night after the national anthem, and John likes to keep a stiff upper lip during Mormon TV ads. Certificate #31942.

In which wheeler-dealers and Debbie Reynolds pillage a priceless trove of movie treasure for pennies on the dollar, and Ken has never been in his own conference room. Certificate #38661.

In which a Marine vet and NASA engineer changes the course of American public policy when he fails to get into medical school, and John has no pith. Certificate #29277.

In which a Detroit-area teen overachieves in Boy Scouts by trying to build a nuclear reactor in a potting shed, and Ken only wants capitalized toys. Certificate #50176.

In which a generation of English peers and their sons look to fix their leaky castle roofs by marrying wealthy American "buccaneers," and John has never kidnapped anyone in Bulgaria. Certificate #33143.

In which the dandyish vintage finds of postwar British teens set a blueprint for the rest of 20th-century youth fashion, and Ken keeps getting hit in the head by nose flutes on the bus. Certificate #13953.

In which a 700-year-old Venusian designs a mysterious whitewashed dome in the Mojave Desert, and John would like to change history at the mutiny on the Bounty. Certificate #13181.

In which internet-era conspiracy theorists become convinced that jet contrails are weather control masterminded from Fairbanks, Alaska, and Ken thinks John sounds like a Muppet for exactly one syllable. Certificate #52946.

In which some of the bankers who lost their shirts in the Great Depression find a cushy retirement in the Bronx instead of jumping out windows, and John will never say anyone isn't gay. Certificate #35727.

In which butter substitutes have to overcome scientific hurdles, dairy-friendly laws, and bad news about trans fats, and Ken thinks Germany is trying to control olive oil. Certificate #34384.