Meditation is not something that happens in the schedule.
I can't say ¨The next month I will go deeper in my practice¨ because meditation cant be planned.
If I plan, if I plan to be better, then I am trying, I am wanting, and try or want be mindful is not be mindful, be mindful request let go the ego of want be mindful.
In another case, if I assist to the schedule meditation, but I don't be in the meditation mood, and I am here because I am following the schedule, that is not meditation.
Meditation don't happen in the meditation hall, meditation happens in the body, in the mind, there are no place to go to meditate, you cant arrive late or early.
We can cultivate the understanding and habits of mind and body, but we can't cultivate more attention, the attention is the same, but now without the distractions of emotions, thoughts, speech, psychology, identity, or only without mind.
Arriving in this point is not a goal, I can want that because I am interpreting that like a goal but is not. Are not in my control, nothing is under my control.
Meditation has no begin nor end.
I (awareness) am just watching Alan, only to the mind, the mind is the unique thing that there is, and there is no need to push or pull the mind, that is only another illusion.
So I am surrender to unconsciousness, just watching it, enduring abuse and injury because I am not that, because the sensation of I is not awareness.
The mind creates the personality and behavior, the mind is an information processor. Have a mechanism of entry of information, process, and exit the information in a way of psychology and identity.
The information by itself is not aware of itself. The awareness can see the information, awareness is the eye, the information is the object that the eye sees.
Identity is information. Identity is unconsciousness.
The identity of the child is the continuation of information by the parents, simple extrapolation. Identification is believe I am that information, the information is not personal, there are not need for a essence of ¨I¨.
Awaken is not a goal, let it happen.