Why Grief Hurts So Much and How to Live Fully Again | David Kessler

This week I'm joined by David Kessler, grief expert, author and one of the most important voices in the world on loss, healing and what it means to find meaning after the people we love are gone.We explore grief in all its forms, why we get it so wrong, and what it actually looks like to move through loss rather than around it.David Kessler co-authored On Grief and Grieving with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and is the author of six books on grief and loss including Finding Meaning, which adds a sixth stage to the five stages of grief. He is the founder of grief.com, one of the largest grief resources in the world, and has worked with thousands of people through loss — including after the death of his own son. He is widely regarded as the world's foremost expert on grief and has spent his career changing the way we understand and talk about one of the most universal human experiences.What we explore together:•Why the five stages of grief were never meant to be linear and what that means for how we heal•What grief actually is and why it extends far beyond death•Why we are so bad at sitting with other people's pain and what to do instead•The sixth stage of grief — finding meaning — and what it is and isn't•Why your loved one's physical death is permanent but your loss of hope is temporary•What David learned about grief from losing his own son•Why love is the one thing that never dies — and how that changes everythingLove, Sarah Ann 💛My book 'Healthy Shouldn't Be This Hard': https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebook/dp/B0G1DHNRV5This episode is sponsored by:NOWATCH: The compassionate health tracker Connecting body and mind with unique stress recovery insights so you can live fully today👉 15% off with code LWBW15 at https://nowatch.com/PULSETTO: Vagus nerve stimulation for stress, sleep and calm👉 Use code SARAHANN at https://pulsetto.sjv.io/SARAHANNThe Great British Veg OutHow to support your gut, energy, and hormones by eating more, not less.👉 https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/p/t…Reset Your HealthIf your body feels off after stress, travel, or burnout, this is where to start.👉 https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/s/r...👉 Practical beats perfect. Here's a free 5-recipe PDF I use to support energy and stress during busy weeks.https://sarahannmacklin.com/5_free_recipes👉 If this resonates, you can join the thousands who read The Compassionate Cure each week.https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/Let's be friends!📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/📹 Subscribe: https://youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast💌 Newsletter: https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/Chapters00:00 Introduction03:07 Why the five stages of grief were never meant to be linear05:52 What grief actually is and why it goes beyond death12:09 The chapter on anger and why it matters14:53 Why we are so bad at sitting with other people's pain18:10 There is no perfect way to grieve20:54 Grief is universal and why we forget that23:58 When logic tries to fix what only feeling can heal27:09 Pain and grief as transformation29:54 The profound healing moment most people miss32:55 Quieting the mind to stay present with loss35:56 The goal of grief work — remembering with more love than pain39:04 Allowing life to happen alongside grief42:07 David's personal loss and what it taught him45:06 Being invested in life while knowing it is temporary48:12 We are human beings and we are going to blow it53:52 Waking up after loss and what that first moment feels like57:07 Finding community and connection through grief65:56 Your loss of hope is temporary69:12 Soulmates and what happens after loss71:49 What is the worst kind of grief80:48 Love is what connects and heals us83:59 The luxury of feelings in this generation87:09 Final thoughts on living well and being well