#137: Treat Them Like Your Soulmate: Emotional Safety in Marriage with Miriam Raquel & Dovid Feldman

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Somatic Healing, Emotional Safety & the 5 Foundations of Marriage | Miriam Racquel & Dovid Feldman

In this episode of From The Inside Out Podcast with Rivkah Krinsky and Eda Schottenstein, we welcome marriage helpers Miriam Racquel and Dovid Feldman, a Chabad couple who work with couples and individuals. They share their personal journey from meeting in college through different paths in Judaism, and how they now combine Dovid’s strength-based, solution-oriented therapy and 12-week Recreating Intimacy program with Miriam Racquel’s somatic mind-body healing. The conversation explores nervous system states in marriage, how to trust bodily signals while interpreting them wisely, and practical communication tools that avoid criticism and blame. They discuss rising divorce rates, social media’s anti-marriage bias, emotional regulation, “letting go” of expectations, emotional safety, receiving, and intimacy differences between men and women. They close with Torah- and Rebbe-based perspectives, quotes, and resources including their websites and books.

SPONSORS

Swimply
Today's episode is sponsored by Swimply — the app that lets you book a private pool by the hour, no crowds, no chaos, just your own space to swim with your family. With pools available across all 50 states, it's an easy, private way to plan a fun summer outing. Use code INSIDEOUT10 for 10% off your next booking.
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Heart & Mind Matters
This episode is also sponsored in part by Heart & Mind Matters, a ready-to-use social skills curriculum created by Henny Moskowitz for therapists, teachers, and social workers. Built from real sessions and years of hands-on experience, it takes the guesswork out of lesson planning with goal-oriented worksheets, activities, and games — already trusted by over 100 therapists, educators, and parents.
🔗 https://go.jcn.io/hmio

Basically Kids

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Atzmi
Atzmi runs evidence-based, Torah-grounded programs — including My Best Self — helping girls build real confidence and measure their worth by who they are, not the world's standards. Active in 80+ schools. Save the date for their ambassador's evening with Bracha Jaffe, August 30th.
Learn more & register: https://go.jcn.io/AtzmiIO

GUEST BIOS
Dovid Feldman
Dovid Feldman is a marriage coach and licensed therapist with over 30 years of experience — professionally and in his own marriage — helping couples rebuild trust, communication, and intimacy. His 12-week program works with each spouse individually and centers on his "five foundations of marriage": appreciation, communicating without criticism, compassionate listening, loving boundaries, and consistent intimacy. He hosts the "Building Great Marriages" podcast. Learn more at https://dovidfeldman.com/             

Miriam Racquel
Miriam Racquel is a somatic healer, marriage coach, and trauma & anxiety specialist who helps women access the wisdom of their body and intuition to create clarity, safety, and passion in their relationships. She's the author of "God Said What?!" and runs Your Marriage Magic, offering marriage and dating coaching for women. Learn more at https://www.miriamracquel.com/    

https://yourmarriagemagic.com/

CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

04:06 Tzedakah Moment Pushka App

04:39 Meet Miriam and Dovid

05:24 Dovid Origin Story

07:28 Miriam Journey to Judaism

10:52 How They Work With Clients

13:08 Therapy Approach and Program

17:40 Somatics and Nervous System

20:55 Body Signals vs Interpretation

22:47 Everyday Trigger Example

27:45 Deep Patterns and Resentment

30:44 Why Divorce Rates Rising

32:46 Choosing Happiness in Marriage

37:03 Chuppah Doubts and Mind Stories

43:10 Why Receiving Feels Hard

43:25 Five Blocks to Receiving

44:50 Reopening After Hurt

46:59 Dating Like a Gentleman

47:58 Emotional Safety First

50:36 Five Foundations Begin

54:16 No Criticism Rule

55:15 Reframing Instead of Critique

58:05 Four Step Communication

01:04:28 Repeat Requests Without Nagging

01:08:58 Letting Go Expectations

01:13:02 Intimacy Story Let Go

01:18:01 When Traits Annoy You

01:18:41 Why Criticism Creates Distance

01:19:37 Reframing Differences as Growth

01:20:37 War Survivor to Baal Chessed

01:24:39 Five Foundations That Work

01:26:13 Tools Therapy and Their Books

01:29:05 Torah Advice for Newlyweds

01:32:31 Soulmate Mindset and Regulation

01:34:31 What Men and Women Long For

01:40:39 Intimacy Needs and Scheduling

01:46:27 Closing Quotes and Hope

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