Episode 353 - The Hidden Mental Load: A T1D Pshycotherapist on Burnout, Grief, and Letting Go

What happens in the room when a therapist with Type 1 diabetes hears the
same fear over and over, that everyone else has their numbers under
control, and you’re the only one who doesn’t? Rob sits down with Christine
Keown, a registered psychotherapist and T1D since age four, to have the
conversation that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime. Recorded right in the
middle of the Diabetes and Mental Health Conference, this one covers a lot
of ground and goes places most diabetes content never does.

Christine shares what she calls her “meta-analysis” of her clients: the
common threads she sees across every person with diabetes who walks through
her door. The fear of judgment around numbers. A fractured sense of
identity after diagnosis. The compounding spiral of healthcare avoidance.
And high-functioning burnout, the kind that looks completely fine at work
and only shows up at home. Rob opens up, sharing what a recent diabetes
meditation retreat revealed to him about conditional joy, self-compassion,
and why he’s been sitting with the uncomfortable truth that he’s not nearly
as in control as he’d like to be.

One of the standout moments is Christine’s live demonstration of an ACT
(Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) exercise using a literal piece of
paper. The idea: we exhaust ourselves pushing our fears away. What if we
just put them down instead? Rob couldn’t stop laughing, and neither could
we.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they’re failing at
diabetes, quietly avoided the endocrinologist, or thought everyone else has
it figured out except them. You’re not alone. Not even a little bit. As
Christine and Rob both land on: we’re all just doing our best, every single
day.

Chapters:

00:00: Rob introduces Christine Keown, registered psychotherapist
01:46: Recording live at the Diabetes and Mental Health Conference
02:26: Why people seek out a therapist who also has diabetes
04:01: Fear of judgment keeps people away from community
05:45: When the endocrinologist becomes the threat
06:44: Diabetes distress and physician-related avoidance
07:58: The compounding loop: wanting care, avoiding it anyway
08:58: The therapist’s privilege: normalizing what everyone feels
10:27: The meta-analysis: what every T1D client shares
11:11: Fear of comparison and the myth of perfect control
12:36: Conditional joy: happiness gated behind blood sugar
13:37: Christine’s pre-podcast low and the reality of T1D
15:13: The messenger matters more than the message
16:23:  A joy shared is a joy multiplied
17:42: Identity shifts after a chronic illness diagnosis
18:15: Christine’s story: leg muscles, mountains, and Costco
21:07:  Rob on learning to ‘be’ instead of always ‘do’
21:31:  Grief, anxiety, and diabetes pulling us from the present
23:51: ACT therapy: the paper exercise for carrying fear
28:03: Naming the fear instead of making it the main character
30:18: Chronic illness and the desperate need for control
31:08: High-functioning burnout: invisible to everyone around you
32:43: Signs at home no one at work will ever see
34:49: Distraction through overwork and the “next thing” trap
35:30: A call to curiosity, self-compassion, and getting help

Resources:

* Christine Keown on Instagram: @your_health_therapist

* Diabetes & Mental Health Conference: Session recordings still
available at dmhconference.com