Most people walk around fighting an invisible war inside themselves.
On the outside, they play the part of the “good person.” But behind the mask lurk the emotions they’ve been told are unacceptable—envy, lust, anger, cruelty, shame. In families, in religions, in schools, the lesson was drilled in: don’t show that side of yourself.
So those parts get buried. But buried parts don’t disappear. They fester. They leak out as addictions, compulsions, betrayals, and self-sabotage. And the harder you try to repress them, the more control they end up having over your life.
Here’s the twist: those disowned parts aren’t your enemy. They hold the raw energy you need for growth, intimacy, and even leadership.
For example: Your lust can fuel creativity and connection. Your anger can set the boundaries that finally keep you safe. Your envy can highlight the longings you’ve been too afraid to admit.
The shadow only destroys when you disown it. But when you face it with compassion and courage, the same traits you once condemned become the source of your unique strength.
In today’s episode, I’ll show you why the parts you’re most ashamed of are actually the key to becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- How being ashamed of envy, lust, pettiness, and even cruelty makes them fester in your subconscious and come back as compulsions, addictions, and deceit that sabotage your relationships, your leadership, and your self-respect (0:25) Two real life examples of how your shadow undermines your romantic relationships and leadership (This is a must listen for “nice guys” and executives) (1:11) What’s the difference between healthy guilt and toxic shame? Find out at (4:16) The most common way your shadow seeps out in your everyday life (5:53) Why the deepest growth and biggest breakthroughs lie on the other side of your shadow (8:14) How the Eight C’s of your true Self can take a self-sabotaging shadow and turn it into your single biggest superpower (9:59) Not getting the promotions you deserve because of office politics? Here’s why this starts in your subconscious mind (17:31) The “LIGHT” protocol for getting in touch with your shadow without collapsing in shame (24:37) 5 micro practices that help you integrate your shadow without feeling overwhelmed, confused, or lost (27:00) 4 common pitfalls of shadow work that can actually further set back your self-sabotage
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another?
Maybe you’ve crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you’ve built the life you thought you wanted, yet there’s still something important missing.
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Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz