Why One Conversation Can Cost You the Whole Afternoon
Best of Motivation | Clarity Over Noise
You can walk out of a twenty minute one to one more tired than you were after a three hour workshop. Same day, same you — and the twenty minute one wins.
The usual explanation is introversion, and it's the wrong one. People who love a crowd come out of a single one-to-one completely flat. Quiet people run six back to back and are fine. What actually decides it is what that particular conversation asked you to *run*.
This episode names the three things that charge you in a one-to-one, and gives each one its own fix:
• Load — translating in real time, because your natural order isn't theirs. Fix: front-load it. One adjustment, made in the first two minutes, then stop translating.
• Lock — holding your own default down for the length of the conversation. Fix: cap it. Say the thing you're holding, early and lightly.
• Loop — the conversation that ends without landing, and then runs in the background all afternoon. Fix: close it on purpose, in one sentence.
Nothing has to go wrong for a conversation to be expensive. That's the part most people can't account for.
The part this episode can't give you
The three drains don't cost everybody the same. One of them is your expensive one — some people barely register load and are undone by loop; others sit in an unresolved conversation all week quite happily and it's the lock that finishes them. Which one is yours tracks how you're wired, closely enough that it also tells you which conversations belong in your morning and which two you should never stack back to back.
Take the free Colour Personality Quiz — twelve questions, about three minutes. It names your colour, and the drain that comes with it.
Related reading
• How to communicate with each personality colour
• Personality colours at work
Support the show
If this episode helped you think more clearly, try the free Colour Personality Quiz at bestofmotivation.com/personality-color-quiz — it takes 2 minutes and shows you how you lead, decide, and communicate.