Are You Leading People the Way You Want to Be Led?
Best of Motivation | Clarity Over Noise
Most of us lead people exactly the way we would want to be led. It sounds fair, until someone on your team wants the opposite, and you do not notice.
Jessica and Brian look at where that shows up. Treating people the way you would want to be treated is a good start, but it quietly assumes everyone is you. In leading, it shows up in three places: the steer, the space and the thanks.
You will hear two stories from one team: a manager who gives a new starter the goal and leaves him to it, then walks her next hire through every step, and why she was kind both times and still got it wrong. Jessica owns up to giving a new colleague a two-line brief and finding out a week later that the plan had been rewritten four times.
In this episode
• 0:00 Leading people the way you would want to be led
• 0:23 The three places it shows up: the steer, the space, the thanks
• 3:06 Two stories from one team
• 5:14 How do you lead, when you are not thinking about it?
The steer, the space and the thanks
The steer is how much direction you give. Some people want the destination and nothing else, and detail feels like being told they cannot think. To others, a goal with no route feels like being dropped in the sea. They are not slow. They want to get it right the first time.
The space is how often you check in. Some people feel trusted when you leave them alone, and a daily check-in reads as doubt. For others, silence reads as being forgotten. Same gap, two different messages.
The thanks is how you say it went well. Some people want it said in front of the team. Others would rather a quiet word, or a note that shows you noticed the detail, not just the result.
You can be a generous manager and still get all three wrong for the same person, because you are being generous in your own language.
Try this at your next one-to-one
1. Notice which of the three you give by default, because it is what you would want. That is usually your blind spot.
2. Ask one question, not all three: do you want the goal or the steps, how often should I check in, or how do you like to hear it went well?
3. Write the answer down.
Go deeper
You know exactly how you like to be led. How you come across when you lead, you have never seen from the outside. The Colour Personality Quiz is twelve questions, three minutes, free. It names your colour. Start there: Take the Colour Personality Quiz.
Related reading on Best of Motivation
• Colour personality test
• What do personality colours mean?
Support the show
If this episode helped you think more clearly, try the free Colour Personality Quiz at bestofmotivation.com/personality-color-quiz — it takes 2 minutes and shows you how you lead, decide, and communicate.