The Smart, Fabulous & Single Podcast with Tricia-Anne Y. Morris

The Smart, Fabulous & Single Podcast with Tricia-Anne Y. Morris

60 episodes
Hey You! I didn’t know I wasn’t my best self until that crazy relationship. But I’m happy it happened. It taught me so much. I learned I had emotional and spiritual wounds that I needed to work on in order to live successfully. So I went on a life-restoring journey and today I can happily say I’m healed and living out my purpose. I’m truly enjoying that Smart, Fabulous & Single life and want to help you to do that too. If you’re feeling there has to be more and you’re ready to learn, share and become the awe-amazing woman you know you’re meant to be, join me each week for new episodes.

The Smart, Fabulous & Single Podcast with Tricia-Anne Y. Morris

23 October 2020

Ep.58 Producer's Pick: 'BTS with Pastor Buddy - Becoming The Right Pick & More'

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Producer’s Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest.

Episode Summary

In today's episode we go behind the scenes with Pastor Buddy Walker who discusses how to prepare for marriage, becoming the right pick, the importance of contentment and more! Listen to the full episode and if you missed his previous episodes on Love After Divorce, listen to Ep# 56 & 57.

Key Takeaways

  • Some persons make wedding plans without truly assessing whether they are ready to be married or are suited for each other (2:52)
  • God has given women a certain wisdom that men need to respect and as women we need to ensure that this respect is there before we head into marriage (10:00)
  • Begin to evaluate the health of the relationship before you decide to go into the romantic stage of the relationship. Because you don't want to become romantically involved in a relationship that's not healthy (13:07)
  • It is important to be content because it helps you to make wise decisions and avoid foolish mistakes (14:36)
  • Commitment (covenant) comes from the heart of God (25:05)
  • The man is the head of the wife. This isn't about domination or rulership but about him taking responsibility and putting his wife's well being and that of his children first (28:15) 

Top Quotes

  • If anyone truly is ready for marriage, there's a learning curve. As you well know, there are things you will not understand or grow into until you're actually in the relationship but doing our very best to enter with wisdom and maturity, realistic expectations (3:22)
  • I don't want to imply that you're going to find a person that is perfect in every way...But if the young woman takes it on herself, that she's going to be the reformer or the transformer...the dynamics of the relationship will change (7:51)
  • He (God) chose marriage as a means of helping us to fully grow into the potential that He has given to us. And someone who says, It's not good for a man to be alone, it could mean that there's going to be a deficiency in that man's life, without the input from a loving spouse (11:23)
  • My wife is a woman of great wisdom. And she doesn't try to control me. She doesn't try to mold me into what she wants me to be. But she speaks into my life and I value her perspectives on things that she can say to me (12:42)
  • Be careful about being too desperate. You know, being able to be content. In whatever state you find yourself if you're single, being able to be content in that state, because when you're content, then you're not going to make foolish impulse (14:36)
  • If you're single, you can totally give yourself to serving the Lord without distraction. It's better to stay single...unless...You are both radically and totally committed to serving Christ with your whole life...You can do more together than what you could do by yourself. And there is no distraction because you're in it together (21:50)

Resources

  • Scriptures: Matthew 19:5, Proverbs 1:20, Ephesians 5:23

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

22 October 2020

Ep.57 Ask the Expert: Love After Divorce with Pastor Buddy Walker (Part 2)

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part interview with Pastor Buddy Walker of Faith Christian Fellowship Tavares Florida and Director of Empower School and Farm, he describes how he met his current wife, the steps he took to test the relationship to ensure this was right, and how his ex wife later became a friend to his new wife. 

Key Takeaways

  • If we seek God about the challenges in our marriage, He will reveal when a marriage should be considered over. He will release us (3:28)
  • Marriage is about coming together with someone who will help us to become the person that God intended for us to be (6:18) 
  • It's important when preparing to meet someone to get to know that person, their perspectives on things and if these line up with Biblical principles and with who you are (12:32)
  • It's important to seek pastoral counsel when making significant decisions generally and re remarrying including to avoid rebounding (15:27)
  • Find ways to assess whether this person is a Christian, shares your Christian values and has truly committed his life to Christ. That the person is very sincere and that there are no warnings as far as proceeding in development of the relationship (17:26)

Top Quotes

  • I wanted to be certain that in God's eyes I was divorced, legally....did God want me to still hold out hope that somehow our marriage would be still restored or was it truly that that marriage even in God's eyes had ended? (1:13)
  • When he said, It's not good for man to be alone, He was actually referring to something more than just loneliness or a need for affection. That He was talking about inner life growth. He was talking also about wholeness (5:59)
  • I believe what I saw in her eyes was mercy and compassion (10:25)
  • She told me that she had totally committed her life to Christ and that she was at a stage in her life that that was very important. And that she was not interested in starting a relationship with someone who professes to be a Christian and yet wanting to live worldly (11:54)
  • People that knew me, were praying for me interceding for me, both from my church, and also other pastors (16:28)
  • One of the programs that we went through was a marriage compatibility profile where we did a series of assessments and it involved a lot of things her family history, my family history, our education, our birth order...and then it rated our compatibility, our strong points and then our potential growth areas (18:43)
  • I could not reverse the breakup of the marriage but I could look for God to bring something good out of what was meant for destruction (26:21)

Resources

  • Scriptures: John 4:1-28, 1 Corinthians 7:1-11, Genesis 2:18 

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.



21 October 2020

Ep.56 Ask the Expert: Love After Divorce with Pastor Buddy Walker (Part 1)

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this interview with Pastor Buddy Walker of Faith Christian Fellowship Tavares Florida and Director of Empower School and Farm, he describes his own story of divorce and shares nuggets he learned along the way. 

Key Takeaways

  • God hates divorce but he loves divorcees (2:41)
  • When we don't deal with the hurts from our past they can destroy our future relationships/marriage (6:05)
  • When we take all the blame we're saying the other person is the victim. This leaves the door open to unresolved issues (11:53)
  • Taking all the blame isn't the same as forgiving the other person (12:42)
  • A marriage or relationship can only truly be restored if the individual has repented and repentance is a choice (17:30)

Top Quotes

  • Initially, the effect that the infidelity had on me was I felt great shame, and a lot of guilt. I...put all of the blame on myself, that if I had been a better husband, if I had been more attentive, if I had devoted more time, she would not have made the choices that she made (11:16)
  • God helped me to identify the areas that I needed to repent of and, with his help, make changes in...Then to recognize there was sin on her side also and that she needed to acknowledge that sin and that I needed to be able to extend God's forgiveness towards her (13:15)
  • It's so important when you've been through the trauma of a divorce to to really spend time with the Lord, allowing him to heal your heart, allowing him to direct you on how to respond (19:51)
  • Another thing that I felt like the Lord directed me in was to show mercy. Not not being there to support wrong decisions but not to be vengeful in any way. Not to do anything to try to make her pay a price for what had happened (21:21)
  • I began to realize that my pain was connected with my feelings for her and that something had to change. And there came a point where I asked the Lord to take away those feelings of wanting to be with her...That prayer got answered (22:31)
  • The word divorce is used in the Bible and I had one leader say to me, "that word is in the Bible because God Himself put it there and recognizes that a marriage can be broken to the point that it's irreconcilable" (29:17)
  • God can heal a marriage from infidelity, but do not ever underestimate the power of infidelity to end your marriage permanently (29:53)

Resources

  • Scripture: Malachi 2:16, 1 Corinthians 14:25

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

20 October 2020

Ep.55 The Chat Room: 'Love After Divorce' (Part 2)

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, my cousin Nadine Lewis (a divorcee, entrepreneur, wife, mother and elder in her church) shares how she handled her relationship once she became a Christian since he was not yet one. She also gives us some advice on how to find Love After Divorce.

Key Takeaways

  • You have to determine his readiness for a relationship/marriage even as we have to assess our own (3:50)
  • Be honest about the kind of relationship you're in. Don't lie or hide (7:51)
  • We have to be careful that we don't become legalistic and make the man uncomfortable because we're now Christians and he is not (10:35)
  • Your objective is not to 'turn' him into a Christian but to let him see Jesus in you and want to have what you have as in 1 Peter 3:1-6 (12:05)
  • When you take a vote on marriage as a Christian it ought to mean something serious (15:37)

Top Quotes

  • It is so important for family backgrounds to be, you don't have to be the same, but there should be some similarities. And that's what made it good for us and probably easy. And when you don't have that it's harder (4:58)
  • When we become Christians it doesn't mean that we now have to put a noose around anybody's neck or a block on anybody's head...or anything like that (10:35)
  • I've heard so many men say...when a woman becomes a Christian, it's almost like she forgets that we had a friendship. She forgets that we're trying to do this together (10:59)
  • You have to let them (the man who is not a Christian) make their own decision. Encourage them. Because we'll get up and he will decide to go to church this Sunday...and then another Sunday I ask you're not going to church this morning? he says no. I just leave him (11:31)
  • What you need to do is live in your life, so that they will see that this Christian thing and say she's happy I want be happy too (11:55)
  • Making a promise not only to your husband but more to God that you're gonna do these things. And because of that for me I do everything to ensure that I don't break that covenant because you have this reverence and fear of God (14:50)
  • You must be aware that you're not perfect and the other person is not perfect either and you will make mistakes. You must be willing to apologize. You must be willing to step backwards and...you have to own up to your mistakes (17:15)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

19 October 2020

Ep.54 The Chat Room: 'Love After Divorce' (Part 1)

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, my cousin Nadine Lewis, a divorcee, entrepreneur, wife, mother and elder in her church, shares about her first marriage which was abusive. She also tells me how she met her second husband..her true happily ever after. Listen to the full episode to enjoy her story. Then come back tomorrow for Part 2.

Key Takeaways

  • When it's time to leave a relationship, esp one that's abusive, you're going to need to be brave. Otherwise you may never leave (4:21)
  • Don't take on all the blame of the failed relationship (5:19)
  • It's not okay to subject children to the toxicity and abuse, even if they aren't being abused (6:21)
  • Don't let your failed relationship cause you to harden your heart towards remarrying. You could ruin the chance of finding real love (13:24)
  • The man that pursues you should make you feel safe, secure and cared for (17:30)
  • You have to be willing to evaluate where you went wrong in the relationship and how you contributed to it breaking down (22:26)

Top Quotes

  • It doesn't matter what happened between you and the children's father, accommodate him in their lives (8:03)
  • My time was consumed with making them (my children) comfortable, and making their lives, you know, as easy as possible (12:14)
  • The first signs you want to look for are those things that caused the first marriage to break down (20:54)
  • You have to do some introspection, analyze yourself and see what did you contribute to the first failure because it takes two persons to make it fail (22:26)
  • That is where a lot of us may fall down. We don't see, even when the other person is super wrong, how we contributed (22:40)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

16 October 2020

Ep.53 Producer's Pick: 'Break Ups, Separation...Final Thoughts from Elder Palmer'

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Producer’s Pick is a bonus episode. In it we dissect the line of a movie, song, quote, social media post, Scripture, or topic you suggest.

Episode Summary

In this episode, Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer shares his final thoughts on the topic 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce'. If you missed his previous episodes, check out episode #47 and #52 to catch up! 

Key Takeaways

  • A man must celebrate and break out in song when he finds a wife (3:23)
  • Ensure you have a list of characteristics that you are looking forward to in a spouse (4:15)
  • In making your decision, you make sure that you get an all clear on the non-negotiable e.g. he must be a man of God (5:22)
  • Get behind the mask of the person to see who he really is (6:34)

Top Quotes

  • Love is not a feeling. Love is a decision that you make. That's why you say till death do us part in a marital relationship, because you have taken a decision (4:29)
  • Go into the relationship knowing what the issues are. There will always be issues and you know what they are so you say this is how we're going to resolve the issues that we have (5:40)
  • When you are speaking and you are communicating and are vulnerable to each other, it helps you to grow. It builds intimacy...It helps in terms of sex (8:42)
  •  So that means your relationship with God must determine where you go and what to do (11:03)
  • When we know the voice of God and we are willing to hear what He has to say, you know, He will guide us. He will direct our path. And so he knowing the future...that bigger picture, He can see...even if our husbands have cheated on us, whether or not it will work out for the better (13:59)

Resources

  • Scriptures: Genesis 2:18, Ephesians 5:21-31, 1 Peter 3:1-6, Mark 10:2-5, Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6, Luke 12:7 

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.


14 October 2020

Ep.52 Ask the Expert: 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce' (Part 2)

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Today I’m speaking with our expert about this week’s topic. It’s practical. It hits all the hard places, and offers tips and solutions to help us move to the next level.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this interview with Elder and Pastor of Fellowship Tabernacle, Percival Palmer, he continues to discuss red flags, what leads to misunderstandings and some of the Biblical principles we need to apply for better decision making and for the relationship. 

Key Takeaways

  • You have to understand each other because you are different. You have to accept those differences and work with it (2:50)
  • It is important in the relationship you both understand who God, you each have a relationship with Him and he becomes the final arbiter (judge, the person with the final say) when you have challenges (4:48)
  • A healthy and happy relationship has agreement and partners that are equally yoked (7:30)
  • Love is a flexible thing. Love is adaptable (15:09)
  • When there is an unmet expectation, something has died and that will cause the person to grieve (maybe even become negative in the relationship) (19:49)
  • Christ should become the foundation on which we stand when dealing with situations (24:44)

Top Quotes

  • One of the things that leads to break up, leads to misunderstanding...is that they do not understand the primary and the secondary love language of their partner (3:16)
  • And if you don't have shared values, like what you think about God, and what you think about family, what do you think about friends, those are red flags that you say to couples hold on (8:19)
  • So each one of us have an emotional love tank. Emotional love tank is like you have a bank account you had debit or credit. You speak to the individual in their own love language. So (that way) you're topping it up, filling it up to overflow (11:42) 
  • He becomes a project which is a wrong attitude to have. If I (as a man) feel that I'm a project to you, I am going to be offended. I'm going to become resentful (15:43)
  • It's just that people become hard towards each other. They become offended, they become unforgiving, and you know that unforgiveness and bitterness harden your heart. That is why he encourages us that we must keep clean accounts, we must communicate (18:58)
  • To the single women, make sure that you're whole. Getting married is not a when I get married I will fix up myself. Fix up yourself (now). Enjoy yourself in the Lord. Become the best that you can be. So when you get married it is two whole persons (coming together) (26:52)

Resources

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

13 October 2020

Ep.51 The Chat Room: 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce with Yasmine Campbell' (Part 2)

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 2 of this 2 part episode, Yasmine Campbell tells us how she recovered from her divorce and the lessons she's learned. I love when she says she's grateful for the experience because it made her who she is now. It's my philosophy too and I think we all need to learn from it.

Key Takeaways

  • Having a support system that you can share with and who will give you godly counsel necessary for healing. Don't isolate yourself (3:39)
  • Some persons may shy away from helping you until you separate from your spouse (6:03)
  •  God marries purpose and if their purpose is not in line with yours don't waste your time because it will derail for months or years (11:29)
  • So often we do not take the time to get to know if the man is a good man. And so we can't make a right decision regarding him (17:41)
  • What we need to know when choosing a partner is whether God says this is the one and whether God says this person is ready because timing is also important (19:40)

Top Quotes

  • God has really cushioned the blows that I should be feeling. And so every step of the way, as soon as I start to really struggle, God just send some answers that's an help (5:23)
  • My takeaways from this marriage is guard your freedom guard what you have in Christ (11:13)
  • Relationships require vulnerability but it just can't work one way (12:44)
  • When somebody is in your life sucking the blood out of you...you have to get higher. Just get higher in God. don't stop because there comes a point where that crow has to fall off your back (15:06)
  • It's interesting how we don't take the time to get to know people. We don't know how they really are, who they really are. Oftentimes, we watch them based on their actions (17:02)
  • I really thank him for where I am today....for whatever I've learned and the wisdom that I've gained because without going through this, I wouldn't know what I am made up of. And I wouldn't have learned so much. The Scriptures wouldn't have come alive to me (22:36) 

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.

12 October 2020

Ep.50 The Chat Room: 'Breakups, Separation & Divorce with Yasmine Campbell' (Part 1)

Tricia-Anne Y. Morris - Author | Speaker | Purpose, Success & Business Coach

Today I'm going into The Chat Room where women from around the world join me in my virtual studio to discuss the topic of the week. The conversations are really eye-opening and we usually uncover nuggets to help us all live this single life like a boss.

Episode Summary

In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, Yasmine Campbell tells us about her failed marriage to a licensed minister of religion. She speaks of his infidelity and abuse and how she became a substitute mother to the children he had out of wedlock. 

Key Takeaways

  • Take  note when others caution you about someone you are dating. Don't push  it under the rug. Pray about it, ask others, speak to him (2:39)
  • Make your decision based on the character before you not based on your hope that he will change (3:31)
  • Sometimes breaking free from a relationship requires spiritual deliverance because we aren't strong enough to do it on our own (7:24)
  • Some men will use the blame game as part of their arsenal when they are cheating/abusing you (10:01)
  • A bad relationship/marriage can cause you to be cursed by sickness and disease (11:06)
  • Unfortunately, there are men who are ordained by the Church and who flow in the spiritual gifts, who cheat on and abuse women (19:38)

Top Quotes

  • Everything  that I saw before the marriage, it just became blown up in the  marriage. The cheating became blown up, it was bigger than before, you  know, it produced outside children (3:41)
  • There was also financial abuse where he was taking the money that I  was earning to take care of his outside interest and child (4:31)
  • I went through that (caring for his child as my own). I went through the isolation, I went through feeling ashamed (10:49)
  • So I had to recognize that...you pity the man that is hurting and abusing you. You need to pity the woman that is being abused...you need to feel sorry for yourself (12:53)
  • I see him ministering at a higher level that I didn't reach in areas of ministry and flowing into gifts. And I would say, the young man is consecrated. He's not doing this because nobody can be doing all this and not be consecrated (19:38)
  • This is a curse, you're under a curse. You have covenanted in marriage with someone who is under the curse of poverty, and lack. And so you have come under that curse with him. This is why this is happening to you (27:00)

Stay Connected

Thanks for listening to this episode. If you want to be notified when new episodes are available subscribe HERE. Also, stay connected by following me on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube.

Email me at pod@sfswoman.com if you have topic ideas, want show notes, want to be a guest or have questions/comments.