1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! Chamillionaire – “Ridin’” [feat. Krayzie Bone] Universal; 2006 6.4 (but only if you're in a Dodge Charger with illegal tints)“Ridin’” is the rare kind of song that makes you feel both like a criminal and a misunderstood philosopher—if your philosophy thesis is mostly about how the cops are always watching, especially...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! Flo Rida – “In the Ayer” [feat. will.i.am] Atlantic; 2008 2.1If you’ve ever stared into a lava lamp and thought, “What if this could somehow be a song?”—well, congrats, your dream was made flesh in In the Ayer, the auditory equivalent of bedazzled cargo shorts and Axe body spray. Flo Rida, not known for subtlety or,...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! Luke Bryan – “That’s My Kind of Night” ⭐️ 1.9 / 10 Label: Cliché Hat Records, a Division of Bud Light SoundsIf a monster truck rally had sex with a Bass Pro Shops flyer during an Axe Body Spray commercial, the baby would be “That’s My Kind of Night.” And that baby would grow up to wear cargo shorts year-round and call...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! Fergie – “Fergalicious” ⭐️ 2.1 / 10 Label: A Delicious Flop Pastry RecordsAh yes, “Fergalicious” – the 2006 cultural artifact that dared to ask: what if a spelling bee had a sugar crash during a rave at Claire’s Accessories?Fergie, freshly emancipated from the Black Eyed Peas’ deeply important catalog of "My Humps" and...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! Scandal’us – Me, Myself & I (2001) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (Pitchfork, 10.0)In an era bloated with faux-indie self-seriousness and turn-of-the-millennium testosterone-pop, Me, Myself & I arrived like a rhinestoned meteor, obliterating subtlety and redefining post-reality-TV sonic maximalism. What begins as a breakup anthem...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! Oh, of course Charli XCX is definitely just recycling that ultra-sophisticated, high-brow techno pop from the early 2000s—you know, the era of iconic lyrical masterpieces like "My Humps" and "Blue (Da Ba Dee)." She's just sitting in her neon-lit studio, sipping Surge, thinking, "What the world really needs right now is...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! Squidward is a grumpy, artistic octopus from SpongeBob SquarePants, known for his long, droopy nose that often reflects his mood and expressions. His nose is frequently the punchline of jokes—getting caught in doors, inflated, or mistaken for other objects—making it a running gag in the series. It symbolizes his...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! No, "Miracles" by Insane Clown Posse (ICP) is not intended as a joke. Despite its viral reception and widespread mockery—particularly the line "Fucking magnets, how do they work?"—the song was created with sincerity. ICP aimed to express genuine wonder at everyday phenomena that are often overlooked. Violent J, one of...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! *“Short People” by Randy Newman is a snarky, satirical jab masquerading as a pop song, delivering a wildly exaggerated roast of vertically-challenged folks with lines so ludicrous they border on cartoon villainy. With its bouncing piano and upbeat melody, the song mocks short people for everything from their “little...

Want to request a song? Tell us your rating? Send us a Text Message right now! In this unsettling reimagining, the smooth-talking, swagger-filled narrator isn’t here to party… he’s luring kids with charm, games, and magic tricks under the guise of fun. He struts through neighborhoods with a twisted grin, tossing candy, whispering riddles, and leading children astray with hypnotic dance moves....